Thank Your for Your Service

My friend Bill was on his way home from a big day of hiking in the mountains of California. He had a hankering for some iced tea, so he stopped at a small grocery store in the foothills and went in. A stout old woman sat behind the counter. Nobody else was in the store. The old woman watched Bill as he walked toward the cooler. He got his iced tea and brought it to the counter. He could tell from the look in the old woman’s eyes that something was trying to happen there.

Something did happen.

When he reached into his wallet for some cash, he accidentally pulled out his Federal credential instead. It identified him as a civil servant. A couple of fires were now kindled in the old woman’s pupils.

“Are you a revenue agent?” she asked, darkly.

“No, Ma’am, I’m a judge.”

“What kind of judge?”

“Federal judge, Ma’am.”

“Are you in that Ninth Circuit?” She squinted at him, stoking the fires.

“Yes, Ma’am. And so are you.”

“Are you a liberal judge or a conservative judge?” The flames in her eyes were flaring high now.

“Ma’am, the Congress of the United State that you helped to elect sometimes passes a liberal law and sometimes passes a conservative law. When I’m upholding a conservative law, I’m a conservative judge. When I’m upholding a liberal law, I’m a liberal judge.”

A long silence ensued. The fires in the old woman’s eyes seemed to have been extinguished.

My friend Bill paid for his iced tea. He turned toward the door. At last, the old woman spoke. She said: “Well, thank you for your service.”

©John P. O’Grady
Originally appeared in The Mountain Eagle on October 16, 2020