Transcript of a Medium’s Message

Last evening was the annual Christmas “Psychic Dinner” down the mountain at the Moon-in-a-Dewdrop Inn. I’ll bet they saw you coming, you say, but we go every year. Think this stuff is all a bunch of hooey? Well, praise it as it proves, as the Fox sisters used to say when they were sober. The best profit comes from good guesswork and it went like this.

“Okay, let’s begin. Give me a personal item to hold, something like your watch. No watch? Okay, give me that crappy little notebook you’re scribbling in. I just need it for a minute. There. Now go back to your doodlings. I’ve got your number, but tell me your name again? Okay, enough of this knocking about, let’s talk about you. Who’s there? My spirit guides see travel in your future. How do I know? They tell me. No, I can’t see for myself, they tell me: you’re going to travel. Yes, I see and hear them. Now they tell me your foot will hurt. Oh really? Well, better late than never. Does the letter alpha mean anything to you? You bet it does! My guides see lots of cups in your future and you’re in more than a few of them. I hope you have good snow tires. Drink more water. Get plenty of sleep. You look like you get a little exercise, maybe that’s why your foot hurts. The thing is, you want everything in your life to line up and have a plot just like happens in a history book or one of those philosopher fairy tales you read at beddy-bye. But your life isn’t a book, it’s not even yours. That’s all my guides have for you. I need that blue ticket the hostess gave you when you came in. Otherwise I don’t get paid. My guides say it was a pleasure keeping company with you. Now be gone.”